Dinner & Cranium

That sums up my day. I cooked dinner for 2 girls and myself. I invited Glen and Snoopy to my place for a simple dinner. I cooked "Hendi" version of chicken curry. I also made Pineapple Bacon for appetizer. There were some leftovers like "Hendi" version of Mapao tofu, Green vegetables, and just a little bit of turkey (donation from Snoopy). Oh, I must blog that we had a candlelight dinner...Somehow the candlelight dinner story led to the discussion about "fun" a.k.a "not serious" requirements those 2 girls wanted from their guys. Also, Glen brought a bag of shrimp kerupuk for dinner...It's really delicious...

I was watching a korean drama where there was this guy wearing a red apron. It was nice...hmm...probably I should do shopping this week after my journal paper is done (after Wednesday)...After dinner, we went to Glen's apartment for cranium game....Try to spell delicious backward! It was a fun night where I gotta read Glamour magazines...Just joking...

I was kinda depressed today. Why? Bcos people are getting jobs whereas I am still jobless. I wasted 2 on-site interviews this term. What's wrong with me? I can't talk? I am not smart enough? Oh well, I think I am getting stupider. I was very disappointed with myself. My friends told me everything happens for a reason...Yeah, I agree with their opinions and the reason is obviously I am not good at all. Sedih!!!

I had interview with Sapient. It is a company similar to Accenture, but smaller in term of size. I didn't set high expectation on this company. I went with the attitude of "nothing to lose". I won't repeat the same mistake I made in ZS. I was so worried that I won't get the job...And I didn't get ZS job in the end.

Sometimes, we have to be patient. The more we want something, the more that thing is going to avoid us. I will just stay cool and see what is going to happen next. This is going to be my philosophy for job as well as girlfriend hunting...just kidding abt the girlfriend part. I think I am too picky in finding girlfriend...but oh well, as time flies, I will slowly lower my expectations...Btw, I used to hate girls dyeing hairs...I hate girls who have a lot of former boyfriends...but now, I guess no one is perfect, including myself...OK, gotta study for tomorrow IOE 541 midterm...I have to do well in this midterm, or else I am doomed to fail this class.

Batu Dingin!

Batu Dingin == Cold Stone. I went there to have Strawberry Banana Rendevous with nxsnoopy just now. She ordered the same thing. I haven't eaten "batu dingin" since summer. We talked about job search. Actually, I wanted to forget about job search, but anyway...it seems that everyone knew about my trip to ZS and therefore I couldn't avoid the ZS conversation...nxsnoopy is nervously waiting for her interview result too...She has one more month to look for job...It will be a big loss to those companies that don't hire her....If I own a company, I will definitely put her in my management team helping me out with environmental issues...But the question is whether she wants to work for bad-tempered demanding person like me...hahaha

Anyway, after I sent her back to GGB (She is so hardworking), I realized that I am left with a month to hang out with this friend...After that, she will go back to SF. I don't think we will see each other anymore after this year.
Life is weird, at least mine is weird. I have met so many people (for a short period) who actually give me a lot of good memories...They come and go leaving a long lasting impression...Well, I will remember her as a nice soft-spoken amicable simple smart lady...

Lead time to recover

I was down totally yesterday....Tough day yesterday... I was at the lowest point of my career searching period...But I managed to recover within a day...Not too bad, I thought I am going to be really down for long time. So I guess my lead time to normal operation is 24 hours. My worst performance is 9 months of lead time when I was in high school. Can't imagine I suffered for 9 months because of a girl? After I recovered after 9 months, I felt like a dumb boy to suffer for a girl. But oh well, at that time, I wasn't resilient at all. Today is a sunny day, a good day to start everything fresh...Forget about the past, focus on this week's work and keep dreaming on my future!

Went to Evanston yesterday afternoon and came back to AA just now at 6.30 pm. Only one purpose...ZS...Feeling down because I didn't perform up to my own expectation. I can feel it...Not going to make it. It is painful to see that I am bad in talking...I have the qualities that they need, just I am not good enough in proving them...Oh well, nothing comes so easy to me...We will see in a week...Going to be a tough week for me...I will keep thinking about it...Be strong, young man!

Year of Monkey doesn't do me any good, in fact, it is NOT a good year...I am a Metal Monkey! Ok, gotta work harder and focus...There are only 2 things in my life now, Study and job hunting...nothing can come in between!!!

I feel a lot of pressure on these few days. Haven't done anything significant to RFT, there are 2 tough homeworks, and a journal paper to work on...of course, the preparation for the battle in Evanston on Friday. Tried to be cheerful and hide the stressful face from people.

I have so much to lose if I can't get ZS. Not to put more pressure on myself, but I have longed for consulting job and this is my last chance to fulfill my dream. There is no backup plan that I can come out with...It is like a captain burning his ship after landing on the enemy's land. If I fail, I will get hurt pretty badly...But I will try to prevent that to happen....Even if it happens, I have prepared a recovery plan....Planning is one of my majors!

I have been watching my favorite korean drama "Love Letter" when I am stressed this week. This melodramatic drama really touched my heart. Who say I am not sensitive? hahaha...My friend said I was quite blunt to girls...I think blunt is good to avoid misunderstanding. Of course, I am learning to be a gentleman. OK, in the drama, I really admired the girl's dedication and love to the guy(This guy wants to be a priest). I even more admired another guy who came between the girl and the priest-to-be. Why? It's because I had experienced the pain this guy had to go through. Anyway, I shall stop watching the drama because it causes me to recall bad memories that happened 8 yrs ago...Probably I will revisit this drama when I find my partner...OK, time for battle plan! Good luck to myself!

I always think of my current phase of life as a mid-life crisis. The world is going thru economic slowdown, everyone is crying for a job. Nothing looks sunny. You get more disappointment than achievement. Sorry that I always think glass is half empty. I am not happy with what I am now, and I am constantly worrying about my future.

Getting a job has been my top priority, nothing can stop me to get a job...I am feeling down today because of rejection again. Although I am expecting the rejection, I was actually still hoping for the last bit of hope...But I guess I am not lucky. Sometimes, I can't stop hating those companies rejecting me. I swear that I will beat them in the future. I guess stress has caused me to think in this way...No one or nothing can console me other than watching Korean drama "Love Letter" and listening to the soundtrack...