Go HOME!...SOON

I started to pack a little bit today and cleaned up my room and desk. Going home is always a nice thing to do, home sweet home. If you are Indonesian, do you believe in going back home and develop your country which is famous for corruption and political instability? That's the question of the day!

Another question: If you like someone, do you think you should be true to your heart and let that person knows? Too young to get girlfriend? Well, time is not the variable here...It is the quality of friendship!

I think I have been talking too much in this blog...I don't want to be NATO...The main purpose of this trip back home is: survey the country, see if I can contribute.

Quote of the day:
Well done is better than well said. - Benjamin Franklin

Good night everyone!

Sleeping problem

It is 5.32 am and I am still awake. I am having minor sleeping problem. Why? Is it because I am too excited to go back to Singapore? or I am too worried about something? I used to be able to sleep a lot last time. A fortune teller even said that I didn't have enough sleep in my past life.

Quarter-Life Crisis!
 
I am getting stupid, getting old, don't know what to do for my future, no job, no girlfriend, etc..etc...Those are the symptoms for Quarter-Life crisis. I am supposed to get this crisis only next year, but have begun to show the symptoms now.

Stupidity is very subjective. I don't know why people said I am smart. I can't even figure out where is my smartness? My English is not good, my programming skill is not good too. How about public relations? Well, I don't know how many enemies and allies I have already created out there?

I am going back to Singapore and Medan(Indonesia) in 36 hours. I have to start my to-do-list.

To-Do-List:
1. create a to-do list

Today: slacking, trying to solve quater-life crisis.

I want to end my blog with these quotes about adversity:
"Any adversity that does not kill you only helps to build character" - Calvin's Dad
"I'm a firm believer in learning from adversity." - Donald Trump

Most of my time today is spent in meetings. There are more and more tasks added to my "laundry list". But, I am going back to Singapore and Medan in 4 days:)...hehehe

The question of the day. What is my long term plan? It is a million dollars question to me. Should I go back home and build my career? or stay in US for another 3-4 years for PhD?

Anything thing is whether I should not pay attention to bgr? Should I pursue it side by side with my career. I think the loneliness in Ann Arbor forces me to think of this issue. Well, I guess if I can answer the million dollars question, I can tackle the subsequent questions that may come up in the future.

I achieved most of my target work today. Did a little bit of planning on RFID stuff. Too bad that the RFID system will only arrive after I leave for Singapore. But I do need the holidays to recharge myself before Fall term starts.

I made a small progress in the XML stuff...still working on it even until now as I am writing this blog. I am expecting a lot of meetings and discussions for tomorrow Friday. Hope my brain can work fast and well.

By the way, I had a sweet dream this morning before being woken up by my cellphone alarm. Somehow my dream was about meeting with a high-school friend back in Singapore. We were walking to school together...that's funny. I never walked to school with a girl in Singapore. I guess I had this dream because I do thought of her lately? That's just me when i am swamped with work.

One last thing that I did for today is laundry...I hate doing laundry...Am I getting lazy? or my time and energy are too precious to do laundry? just kidding...Hopefully, I can go back to Indonesia next year, and therefore no need to concern about laundry.

I really hadn't got a good night sleep. I always think about the software infrastructure....want to improve/enhance it. Designing an infrastructure is a hard task. Have to think in term of generic pattern and automation of process. Change topic...

I think I begin to gain weight. I always gain weight when I am in stressful state. 6 days to Singapore, pretty excited though I keep my fingers crossed. I have a list of wishes I want to get when I am in Singapore. Hopefully, everything comes true:)

I haven't washed my car for about 2 months. My poor convertible....I will make time to clean it this coming Saturday...So many things to do in such a short time. Haiz...Probably I should take things one by one. Shouldn't be too ambitious. I know that I am always stressful when I start thinking about my future career. Too early to be concerned about career? I don't think so....I am an early planner, not early riser though.

One week from today, I will be boarding Northwest 11 to S'pore. I am not sure if my trip back home this time is going to be a fun one. Should I just relax and enjoy my time in S'pore and Medan without having to worry about ERC work and my future?? I have been thinking about my future lately. Actually, I am more like planning rather than thinking. I haven't gotten a good night sleep this summer. Why? Too many things to think/worry about.

I wish to see a few friends in Singapore. I am not sure if they will have time to see me. Most of my friends have headed home, and this fact actually influences me to go back to Asia after my graduation next year. Should I go back to Spore/Medan next year or stay in US? Secondly, I am 90% sure that I won't pursue PhD. Well, in the first place, I am not sure if I can pass the qualification exam...I feel a bit stupid lately...Shoot, my blog writing today seems going downhill.

I have been looking at computer codes a lot lately and I don't enjoy writing programs anymore. Man...What should I do? I am not sure what specialty I have by the time I graduate next year? What distinguish me from other people? Am I worrying too much? Haiz...Wish me luck!

Today is probably the day where I saw a dim light at the end of the dark tunnel of my research. I sat down yesterday looking at the current software infrastructure, and I realized that the software infrastructure was far from being called robust.
 
I had a lunch meeting with my advisor. I told him about the real problems/issues in software infrastructure. Things have been moving slowly in software infrastructure. The software team is currently reduced to 2 people. He was kinda disappointed with the current performance. I was disappointed with myself too. Over the lunch, I told him all the issues that needed attention. After the lunch, I documented our conversation and I will use the document as a guideline of my work till the end of this year.
 
My advisor is thinking of assigning me to have internal collaboration with other PhD students. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed. However, on the other hand, I feel honored to be assigned so much work...I am just weird huh? Besides all the software infrastructure stuff and internal collaboration, I still need to write a journal paper...so you can see how much work I actually have...haiz
 
On the bright side, I am going back to Singapore in 12 days time. I really hope I can meet a long lost friend in Singapore. She has started working in Singapore. She is the one who kinda encouraged me before I came to Ann Arbor. I was really going downhill with my studies and social life in early 2000. Friends are always important to me.

Some people said that my blogger is too sad. Well, I am going to write happy stuff today. I am 15 days away from boarding northwest flight to Singapore. I am really excited. Apart from that, I begin to get more and more responsibility in RFT. Hmmm...I am not sure if I should be taking so much responsibities. PhD or not PhD? That's the question I need to answer very soon.

I am watching Korean series titled "Winter Sonata". I must say that the series as a whole is excellent. I am pretty "touched" by the story line. Love is the subject that I am still very weak in. But I will put more effort in this subject:) It is pretty sad for not telling the true feeling to the person you love.

Oh ya, I went to chicago for tournament last saturday. Well, as usual, I am always bad in finishing the tournament. My partner, Kin from Malaysia, and I lost in semifinal. I didn't set high expectation for myself, so I wasn't sad when we lost. See...not a sad blog, right?

RFT had a visitor from Singapore, he is Prof. Ho from NUS. I presented the RFT demo and the software infrastructure today. I was a little down when my friend told me about my other friend. She has found someone...Well, I think I am too far away from Asia for her to even consider me. Also, it may be one-sided feeling from me. Sometimes, I am too afraid to like someone. In fact, I think I still think that my heart is still aching from the last sad experience in RJC time.

I am going to remove the blog link from my homepage soon. I hope I will recover from the sad feeling soon. She may not be suitable for me after all. I believe in faith and destiny. I have actually come out with a few plans and I have started writing a poem for her, but I guess I will throw all of them away. Quite sad, huh? Oh well, I am sure I will cheer up again as time flies.

I have been watching melodramatic korean TV series. I finished Summer Scent. This series is my favorite for this year. I am currently following another old series titled Winter Sonata. These two series are all about love...What does true love actually mean?

Just came back from Fishing trip around Maryland. I caught quite a lot of fish, at least 10...But US fishing law only allows each person to keep 2 fish and the fish has to be at least 18" long. Overall, 4 of us caught 8 stripe bass..It was a good but tiring trip because we didn't actually sleep the night before fishing. We reached the fishing "kampung" at ard 2 am and we went out to fish at 6 am. I managed to catch 2 hours sleep in the uncomfortable GrandAm.

After fishing, we drove to Philadelphia and stayed in Wyndham hotel. We got a really good room on 25th floor facing the supreme court where the fireworks was shown on that night. All of us had a nearly night after dinner at Cheese Cake Factory.

On Tuesday, we went to have lunch at Morimoto, the iron chef's restaurant. I ordered Omikase that cost $40. It was a really good 5 course lunch. After lunch, we toured around the independence square area to see the liberty bell and the independence hall. We stopped by D.C. on the way back to Ann Arbor. I had been to D.C. before. We went to D.C. to show Koh's dad around. In D.C., we went to see White House, Lincoln Memorial, and had dinner at the chinatown.

The trip was tiring but overall it is not too bad. I may plan to go fishing again before snow falls in Ann Arbor. Oh ya, about my bone scan result, the doctor said there is nothing wrong with my bone...yeah!!! there is only a small injury and the doctor said it will heal as time goes...One last thing, 22 days to Singapore!