Bad Luck Hendi!!!

Last Saturday was the worst day of my life in 2006. I forgot to switch off my electric stove before going out for badminton match. I was heating up leftover soup, thinking of filling my stomach before badminton competition, but somehow I totally forgot about it and just left my apartment. So, the soup in a big pot got heated up for 12 hours. And I didn't realize it until I was in the tram on the way home. My soup is gone, my pot is gone too, and my whole apartment is stinky with burnt smell until now. But thank God, my apartment wasn't burnt down...

And having bad luck, I also lost in the tournament. I guess I wasn't fit to play 3 sets anymore. I could have won if I fought harder, but I guess I don't have desire to win on that day. The tournament was very badly organized. But what can I expect from the Germans? For those who like Germany, you must be one boring person!

It's all coming back to me

After working in Conti for 9 months, I realized that the knowledge/skill I learnt during my Master degree program is actually used in my Conti projects. When I handled traceability project, no one in the plant knows how to do it, but it's obvious to me because it was my research topic. Then, I am assigned to implement Balanced Score Card. Again, I learnt this topic in IOE class. So, to say that whatever you learnt in the college is just theorical and not practical is not entirely true.

People often said "you learn how to learn" in the college. I think this opinion is obsolete. In my opinion, we go to college to learn the newest trend in the world, the newest environment, the newest thinking, the newest type of human beings, and of course the newest knowledge/technology. In addition, you get a "sparring partner" in your competition to survive in the world. This is so true when you try to find a job after graduation. Our lives are full of challenges/competitions. Meritocracy rules!!!

So, to summarize....I feel like going back to university but I am not willing to pay 1 cent for my further studies? Is there any solution? We will see...

Everyone recovers

I was so occupied with work this week. My week was filled with meetings. My new project requires me to understand the plant operation, the production processes, and the financial calculations, and its organization structure. So I have to meet with various departmental managers to extract as much knowledge as possible...So every meeting I have has steep learning curve. By the end of the day, I was so tired that I fell asleep in the train on the way home.

But in a way, it's good that I drown myself with work. I can forget about her...Work and only work is my medicine to cure sadness. I think it's the best cure in the world. Working hard will also help me realizing my dreams faster...I am just so looking forward to going back to Asia...I hope I will be happier there for those 3 precious weeks...

My Dear

How powerful or meaningful is the word "dear"? We use it daily in email.
But when someone call you dear...do you interpret the meaning differently? For me, I do.
There is only one girl who calls me "my dear"...
I hope you are happier now...If you do, I will learn to let you go...and please don't call me "my dear" anymore...It's too painful to handle...

Heaven Knows
Rick Price

She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up 'til I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know

And though she's so far away
It just keeps gettin' stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

My friends keep tellin' me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in kind
I'll know she's mine
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all this time I act so brave
I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Heaven knows
Heaven knows

Healing...

There are a couple of things that really cheered me up yesterday night and today.
When I was working as a machine operator last night making tyres, my machine partner suddenly bought me a bottle 0.5 l Coke. What a surprise...I thought it's because yesterday what my 2nd last day as a machine operator. But apparently, he told me that he was happy because his wife is pregnant....I was happy for him, but I don't know how to say Congrats in german...But i just said Congratulations!

Secondly, on yesterday night till today early morning, me and my machine partner broke a new record in the production volume. We made 175 tyres in 8 hours. Normal rate is 120 tyres in 8 hours. Our 2nd best record is 171 tyres. These are 2 things that really made me more focus on my work and try to forget about sadness.

After I came back from work at 6.30 am today, I went online and chatted with the girl...We chatted for sometime as if nothing happened. Still very good friends we are and will be...We ended our chat after 30 minutes. During the chat, I said to her, "Congrats! I am happy for you." And at one time, she said something like "You are a very good catch actually."
Thanks dear!! Just help me erase my feelings please....

Eternal Flame
The Bangles

Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling
Do you feel my heart beating
Do you understand
Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming
Is this burning an eternal flame

I believe it's meant to be, darling
I watch you when you are sleeping
You belong with me
Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming
Or is this burning an eternal flame

Say my name
sun shines through the rain
A whole life so lonely
And then you come and ease the pain
I don't want to lose this feeling

Say my name
sun shines through the rain
A whole life so lonely
And then you come and ease the pain
I don't want to lose this feeling

Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling
Do you feel my heart beating
Do you understand
Do you feel the same
Am I only dreaming
But is this burning an eternal flame

Photo and Time

Photos are meant to be seen and remembered. I browsed through photos that I took from 2005 until now. I guess not much changes except that I looked older. What did you do when you have photos with the person you try to forget? Being a hi-tech person, I guess I can just zip them out and store the file at the very end corner of my harddisk...When you are sad, is it your heart that is sad or it is your brain that is sad?

The only happy thing I have today is that my paper(co-author with others) is published in IEEE journal...It's a significant thing, but the timing is wrong. It would have helped if I got it published when I was still a grad student. It's all about timing...

Only Time (Sweet November Soundtrack)
- Enya

Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...

Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your love flies?
Only time...

And who can say why your heart cries,
When your love dies?
Only time...

Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be,
In your heart.

And who can say when the day sleeps,
If the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart...

Who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...

And who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

Who knows?
Only time...

Who knows?
Only time...