On Christmas

Woke up late as usual and cooked lunch.
There are more thoughts going around my brain this afternoon. What's a life without love? And what's a love with trust? I am somehow in confusingly agony. As of now, there is no cure to it other than suppressing the agony because I am better in hiding than in revealing. This is an ancient disease that have infected me once during Raffles Junior College time. Some say I don't have confident, I don't dare to take risks, I analyze too much, I am slow to react, I am picky....but actually I am more worried about the mourning that I will cast on myself and other people for being inconsiderately and selfishly loving someone.

Am I just avoiding the problem? Lying to myself? I can't give deterministic answers to these. You never know when you'll fall in love. You can't choose the person you want to fall in love with. Well, I am always unluckily late in loving someone, or rather... slow in revealing my thoughts. But I never regretted, even if I silently ended up being hurt, as long as we enjoy the precious moments we spent together. I might be purchasing a one-way ticket to my own sadness, but I am hypnotized by your words! Just hope that I am the least troublemaker until you depart! So long!